Let’s talk about some facts that others ignore or scared to say. Often, you may feel frustrated just because you are a mom. Your feelings, general well being, physical pain, mental health and other issues don’t matter or matters less. You are not that whole person anymore but a “Mom” and if you are stressed out, tired, frustrated, sick, in pain, unhappy, It’s less important in the family than it was before.
We have a toxic belief that you have to be content with these damaging stuff because you’re a mom and your kids come first. All we have to care about is the kids. No matter if you are cramping, dealing with any health issue which is more likely to happen while you’re a mom, yet you can’t do less than the work you normally do every day.
If you fail to keep up with all your regular tasks while raising kids then you are labelled as “bad mom”.
If you are stressed out, at the end of the day to the point that you are shaking and the heart is pounding and have this over the urge to fucking scream, nobody cares, it’s “haha this is what parenting!” If I’m really sad and miserable and unhappy with my life, I have to be strong for the kids. I can’t think about me or how I feel or what I want. I have to not be selfish and put then first.
The other day, Told my husband the reason why I didn’t make dinner was that our daughter got shots on that day and didn’t react very well and had a fever and was miserable.
All of that was true. I didn’t make dinner because I was exhausted from holding a crying 16-pound baby all day, caring for an extremely energetic and somewhat difficult 5 years old, trying to deal with our dog’s flea issue by re-washing all 5000 blankets and pillows apparently we have in our house, I was just too drained to care about making dinner.
But I knew those reasons weren’t good enough. That’s part of being a mom, right? It’s tough, right? So suck it up.
Parenting is draining and that’s fine, I don’t regret being a parent. I just feel like once you become a mom, that’s your identity and who you are, and you, as a person, on your own, matter less than before you were a mom. And it’s tough sometimes. I love my kids and I always try to put them first, but I’m a person too. And I should matter too.